i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
