Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
