forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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