it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
