I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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