Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
