oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize