You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
