i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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