Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
handjob tips. give me some.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
