You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
one might say we're banned from that church
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
