ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
