i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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