ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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