Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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