My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
