Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
