you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
