so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
