these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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