I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So much rum. So many feels.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
