My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
