just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
