Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
