We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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