I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
