Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
