ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize