Cold hands, warm shart.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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