how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
