It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
