i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
