i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
