Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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