do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
