There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
you're hired as official boob wrangler
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize