Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
