He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
