when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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