why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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