I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
