One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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