Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
