on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
