Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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