singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
