this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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