oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
