ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
