Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
