Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
