I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
