Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just tell him i said nine months
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Randomize