How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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