I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
